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 State of the Tank: (cont.) |
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Therefore, getting people what they want is one of Greenwich’s strengths. For instance, you want a four-seater Maserati coupe in champagne but it HAS to have an automatic transmission? You got it. A child’s playhouse built as an exact replica of YOUR house with hot and cold running water? Our pleasure. But hardware? This seems to be one of Greenwich’s great weaknesses. Oh, they have some around. Even mansions have to have hardware. But it’s the availability of hardware to the average Joe (which there actually are some here) that truly is the problem. We all knew it too as our hearts collectively sank at the thought of the task now before us. The chances of us finding a schedule 40 2” bulkhead fitting in this town would be about the same as finding an Oscar Wilde novel on Paris Hilton’s nightstand. And to make matters worse, the tank had been off nearly five hours already.
Now, I’m sure most of you are saying, why not just call your LFS. The answer is because they won’t have it either…or more correctly, the 16 year old with the rolled up copy of Maxim behind the counter wouldn’t know it if he saw it and the only guys that WOULD are out on service calls. How do I know? Because the guys here ARE from the LFS and that’s exactly what THEY said! One did try to call though and, of course, got nowhere. Another then tried a different store and got a vague enough answer that he decided to give it a shot and drive down there.
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It would take him about 45 minutes to go and back so the rest of us decided to pass the time by trying to finish putting the sump into place. That took all of five minutes and it fit like a glove.
Against my better judgment, and to keep from going crazy, I tried calling my local ‘hardware’ store. This, I knew was a complete exercise in folly for, as God as my witness, this place hasn’t had 80% of the stuff I’ve gone there for in the nine years I lived here and I’m far, very far, from being a handyman. Fortunately, they made up for this by also having crappy attitudes. The phone call went like this: |
| Them (Already Annoyed): “Greenwichhardware. Thisismarcmayihelpyou?” |
| Me: “Yeah. Um, would you happen to have a schedule 40 2” bulkhead fitting in stock?” |
| There was a pause. Then: |
| Them: “What you want it for?” |
| Now I’m thinking, well if I wanted to slap a ponytail on it and take it out dancing, that shouldn’t be a determining factor of whether it’s in stock or not. But since I really was in dire need here, I decided to give him a straight answer…though I would’ve easily bet the farm on the outcome. |
| Me: “It’s for an aquarium sump”. |
| Another pause. |
| Them: “An aquarium”? |
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