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 State of the Tank: (cont.) |
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And since there was no way to manually calibrate it, we hoped that simply setting the parameter to 83 might do the trick. It did not. Once back on line, it would start calling again (fortunately, the wife was out). We reset it for 84, then 85. No luck. And the unit was still reading 79. Ray then decided another call to Control Products was in order. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is when we first came into contact with the ‘lovely’ Jean.
Jean is one of CP’s customer services representatives, though her demeanor suggests this is only a temporary stay until the position of ‘Beaurocratic Fop’ opens up. Ray first explained all of the tribulations that led up to the phone call then asked for any assistance or tips that would help stabilize the unit. This request was met with Jean telling him that the probe was not meant to be immersed to begin with and, since we altered it by applying silicone to the probe, we had voided the warranty. Therefore, they would be glad to test the unit…if we sent it to them with an extra $50. Ray then tried to tell her that the probe wasn’t the problem. It seemed that no matter what parameter was set on the UNIT, it would call us…even if that parameter hadn’t been reached, so this was a UNIT problem. Again, Jean replied that since we altered the PROBE, thereby forcing the unit would perform an application it wasn’t designed to perform, (!) all they could do |
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was test the unit at an additional $50. It was at this point that Ray mentioned that nowhere in either their catalogue advertisement NOR anywhere in the unit’s own directions does it mention the probe was never meant to be submersed. Jane countered that it did and, when asked to find it, said she would have to call back. Ray told her that was fine and we’d be waiting.
By the time she did return the call, Ray had long gone. This was not good news for Jean because now she would have to deal with me and for those who know me, they also know that my tolerance for b.s. is about half the distance between the ‘e’ and the period at the end of this sentence. Anyway, she said she had found the reference regarding the probe not being submersible and that it was on page 14 of my instruction booklet. When I informed her that my instruction booklet only went up to page 8, she mumbled something about my having an ‘older’ model (!) and she’d have to get back to me again.
Now, at this point I’m thinking, “Boy, this sure is a lot more time consuming than a simple, “We’re sorry, Mr. Moye. Upon further review of our ad, we now realize there is no way you could have known that our product could not be used in the manner you intended. So, if you’ll simply return the unit, we’ll gladly refund your money, with the exception of the probe ($25) and inform Aquatic EcoSystems of the problem”. |
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